We all know the show. Or, at least, we know about the show. We’ve heard the sound bites, seen the memes, heard inadvertent spoilers, and likely have some conceptual understanding of the plot: the Dad from Malcom in the Middle is a high school chemistry teacher that can’t afford to pay for his cancer treatment, and thus partners up with a former student to make and sell meth – only it just so happens that his brother-in-law is a DEA agent. Crazy antics ensue.
What you probably didn’t know is that there’s a character from Breaking Bad living inside every technical support professional. Whether you’re a guru, a one-man IT shop, a small cog in the call center machine, a CTO/CIO, an IT director, a helpdesk manager, an SME, or a level 1 technician – there’s a little bit of the blue crystal in us all.
So… which Breaking Bad character are you? *Unintentional spoilers below*
Walter White. You probably have an alias (or maybe an online avatar) that is vastly different from your own quiet, amiable disposition. This persona of yours is less interested in money than power and recognition. You have the administrative credentials, all the answers, access to every system on the network, and you are never wrong. You are the one who knocks.
Jesse Pinkman. You like to take it easy from time to time. It’s not all about how many clients you can help during the day; it’s more that you do the job that you’re decent at, and then you can chill guilt-free with your buddies. Catchphrases optional, yo.
Gus Fring. Your attention to detail is beyond obsessive. You would rather not deal with those that are less put together than yourself. You’re sort of a tech support snob, and you hold your clients in contempt for their lack of savviness. I mean, you have a Knowledge Base for a reason…
Saul Goodman. You’re good with people. And the people you’re good with know people who know people. You’re well connected in the office and outside it. Now if you can just keep all of their shady dealings off of you, you’re in the clear. You are also good at helping your tech colleagues and getting clients out of sticky situations, or at least knowing where to turn during those times.
Mike Ehrmentraut. You may not be the most likable of people in the office, but that doesn’t stop your co-workers from turning to you to do the heavy lifting. You are a stubborn expert that does things your own way, and you get the tough tasks done.
Marie Schrader. Your good intentions are often misplaced, as are the items you tend to shoplift from the office. We’re not saying you’re a klepto, but a few extra sticky notes here, a long lunch break there, and soon enough things start to add up. Or rather, subtract down.
Hank Schrader. Sometimes you miss the forest for the trees. You’re super good at what you do, even to the point of exemplifying the Peter Principle, getting yourself promoted up the tech pro chain to the point of no longer being good at what you do. You spend way too much time in the wrong places. You train a laser-like focus on fixing and connecting small issues, but your tunnel vision leads you often to miss the bigger picture.
Lydia the Madrigal Lady. You don’t like to get your hands dirty. You will do what needs to be done, but preferably without too much effort on your part. Shortcuts, scripts, and hotkeys are what you are all about.
Skylar White. Your allegiance is a little questionable. You would do anything for your core group, but it is a little unclear who that is. Not to mention it is often at the expense of your boss and colleagues. You really need to get off the fence.
Walt, Jr. (aka, Finn.) You really, really like breakfast. And fast cars. Really, this could apply to most of us.
Maybe you fit the profile of more than one of these characters, or maybe none at all. You could also be one of the many recurring characters on the show, like Todd, Ted, Tuco, Tortuga, Salamanca (ding ding ding), Badger, Skinny Pete, Detective Steve, Saul Goodman’s comedian henchmen, the twins, or someone I may have missed. If so, please tell me who you resemble in the comments.
While I wait for that, I’m tuning into the last few episodes of the series, since they’re going to be EPIC.
Gatorade me and have an A-1 Day.
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